' ' ' Fake Dos for QBasic ' 'This program looks like DOS, but it has some suprises in store for the 'unsuspecting user. Pressing Ctrl-Pause or Ctrl-Break will end the program. 'Press "F5" to start the program. ' 'Programmed by Jeff Lewis ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' CLS count = 0 a: count = count + 1 INPUT "C:\", c$ IF count = 1 OR count = 2 THEN GOTO first END IF IF count = 20 THEN GOTO almost END IF IF count = 21 THEN GOTO finished END IF IF c$ = "help" OR c$ = "Help" OR c$ = "HELP" THEN GOTO help END IF a = INT(10 * RND) SELECT CASE a CASE 0 PRINT "NO!" CASE 1 PRINT "What do I look like, a slave?" CASE 2 PRINT "Do it yourself" CASE 3 PRINT c$; ", "; c$; ". Is that all you ever want?" CASE 4 PRINT "Why don't you figure out how to do that without me." CASE 5 PRINT "Go "; c$; " yourself." CASE 6 PRINT "Why do you always expect me to do these things?" CASE 7 PRINT "I'm getting sick and tired of your laziness!" CASE 8 PRINT "What's in it for me?" CASE 9 PRINT "I ain't doin' no more work without somethin' in return." END SELECT PRINT GOTO a help: PRINT "Go get the manual, don't ask me!" PRINT GOTO a almost: PRINT "I'm warning you, just one more time and you'll be sorry." PRINT GOTO a first: PRINT PRINT GOTO a finished: PRINT "That's it! No more!" PRINT FOR ctr = 1 TO 5000 NEXT ctr CLS DO ctr = 4 LOOP UNTIL ctr = 9000 'Hit [Page Up] a few times to get back to the beginning.